I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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