so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
