just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
