I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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