I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
