his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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