It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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