I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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