you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
