i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
