I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
