Where did you get a picture of my penis
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
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