I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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