people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
