She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
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