She announced her abortion via fbk
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He had one of those small greek statue penises
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
