Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize