he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
