we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
