So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
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