He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
No subtext here. People are naked.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
