I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize
