Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
