I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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