Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Is Oprah even human
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Randomize
