I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
