Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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