You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
