The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
