the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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