there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Randomize
