Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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