One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
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