Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
