ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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