she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
