New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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