I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
