best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Randomize
