No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
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