yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
