i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
