My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
