I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
