Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
