I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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