the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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