You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Dicks are not precious.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
