so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
