This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
